Well I'm really not sure why we are the way we are, but since when has what the queen wears while driving become more important then people getting killed, hurricanes or other horrible things going on in this world today? This has been a week of bad news all around for me, the death of friends, work associates loosing family to possible murder, other friends loosing their parents....I know its the natural process of life, people die and babies are born, but it doesn't mean I have to like it! I lost my own father 8 months ago, so I guess its still a little raw but I am moving on as we all do. I suppose its because our own mortality comes into question as we age or maybe it just because I'm menopausal lol, I really don't know.
I've started looking to the future more these days too, like where I want to be and what I want to be doing in 15 yrs time when I retire. Will I still be in the same house? the same job? what will it be like? So I've started to make plans, maybe look at places to be living, taking extra money out on the mortgage when we renew and redo the kitchen (only if we plan on being in the same house) you see, the kitchen we have is very small, and when we decided to down size I didn't realise just how much the small kitchen would bother me! But alas it does! or maybe we should just finish the up dates and sell? find another house with a bigger kitchen? what to do, what to do? Some days I think I can't squeeze any more thoughts into my brain, I'm starting to think I might want to invest in some ear plugs just to stop it from leaking out. Its funny, as I've gotten older I don't have many regrets, but some. I would even go as far as saying some that are minor, and one or two that are much bigger. I would like to think I can change some of those into none regrets, like regretting not learning to play an instrument, I was given plenty of opportunities to learn just never wanted to at the time. So maybe I will take some lessons, piano or guitar hmmm I don't know, I like both but would like to just pick one. Other regrets I'm managing to undo, like staying in touch with family that are far away, possibly going back to visit a little more often, that's an easy one. Big regrets, my first marriage but I can't change that I've got 3 great kids out it and that makes up for that any of that time wasted :-) Well death also brings regrets, wishing you had done more for your loved ones, spending more time with them, but I think they know and I'm sure they had there own regrets in life, but then again who isn't without regret. If some ever tells you they don't have any regrets, chances are they are they are probably lying! TTFN
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